How many times do you choose a plan for your day and end up following someone else’s plans, or worse, no plan at all?
Monthly? Weekly? Daily?
Well, if you picked weekly or daily, it could mean you’re feeling a bit stuck, individually or relationally, or maybe even professionally.
Just to check, I invite you to search your most recent week’s calendar.
The results may be that you have a): no plans in there, b): the same plans daily, c): the same activities weekly, d): an overly full schedule that feels overwhelming and chaotic.
What to do?!
Granted, many of those activities may be ones you wish to keep because they are fulfilling or necessary … but many also include tasks you might like to change or to delegate.
Let’s just say you want to start a new activity or plan but either don’t know what to pick up, or can’t seem to find the time to squeeze it into your packed day.
It’s a bit like picking out which jigsaw puzzle to put together or figuring out how to start and finish it in a way that feels enjoyable rather than frustrating.
This is where the good news comes in about how to get unstuck!
Today I’m going to help you shift your old patterns by offering three of the most surefire keys to getting out of those old ruts. As you’ll soon see, using these keys can unlock your potential for greater satisfaction with yourself as a person and with your own family and career life as well.
Key 1: Freeing your daily life from a vast sea of “to-do’s”
It’s quite easy to feel overwhelmed and stuck if you focus all your energy and time in an endless list of tasks to do.
Here’s what I mean.
Today’s calendar may consist of 2 tasks/activities you have to do yourself, 3 house projects you have to manage, and no leisure activities that you want to do—or no time to relax.
To further illustrate my point, here is a sample of a daily schedule that can leave a person feeling stuck:
7 AM – get up and do hygiene
7:30 AM – get self/others ready for work/school
8 AM – make, eat, and clean up breakfast
8:30 AM – dress and get kids ready for school/get set up for computer work/school at home/commute
9 AM – start job/work
Noon – break for lunch
12:30 – project management/classes/assignments
3 PM – after school activities for kids/work meetings
5 PM – pick up kids from school/travel home from in-person classes/work
5:30 PM – prep dinner
6 PM – eat dinner
6:30 PM – clean up
7 PM – feed and walk the dog/care for other pets/help others with homework/chores
7:30 PM – exercise
8:30 PM – shower
9 PM – get self/others ready for tomorrow
9:30 PM – get self/others ready for bed
10 PM – watch news
11 PM – bedtime
This is a routine, typical weekday for a lot of people! Doesn’t seem very fulfilling, does it?
Now, let’s say you’re an artsy person, or a sportsman, and you rave about such avocations.
Would you be creating something on the weekends, or going fishing, for example? Yes, probably.
Would you feel like you’re living for the weekend? Absolutely you would, if you were lucky enough to carve out such time at the end of the work week!
Likely, you’d be dancing in exaltation to discover that you’re able to spend a whole weekend doing what you love, instead of having to catch up on grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning/yard care, and paying bills all day long on both Saturday and Sunday.
Yet this is what happens instead when you focus on doing one fulfilling activity daily: You let your routines be routine, and you give yourself the gift of craft, recreation, or sport each day to stimulate your muse.
Suppose you like music or camping.
What if you ditch part of your to-do list in favor of subbing one hour of playing guitar or setting up for a camping trip during the evening instead of watching the news, for example? Wouldn’t you find that you don’t really need to have your meals and work hours written as a reminder of the more mundane parts of your life? Wouldn’t you end up getting the news on the radio on the way to or from work, or reading about it during lunch (if you’re really into the news anyway)? Wouldn’t you find it more satisfying to use that time enjoying music, planning a trip, creating art, or prepping your tackle box?
Best of all, you could choose a different fulfillment activity/a-muse-ment for each day. Perhaps on Monday, you are studying Spanish and on Tuesday you are practicing yoga. Maybe on Wednesday, you are playing board games with your kids, and on Thursday you are joining with your drum circle or an online music workshop. How about having date night on Friday or Saturday with your spouse, or even dating to find a spouse in the first place if that is your desire! And on Sunday, do you prefer spiritual self-nurturance in the form of attending religious services or communing with nature? Perhaps you enjoy both options? How might switching off between/among these options be able to contribute to your fulfillment and a well-rounded lifestyle?
In any of these scenarios, the point is to focus your day on one stimulating thing that you love, rather than all the tasks you must do. This focus can make all the difference between feeling stuck in the rut of a hum-drum family/professional existence, and living life as a more exciting adventure of discovery and enjoyment – one that broadens you and sparks your capacity for creativity, expression, imagination, and productivity.
That’s why a mantra of: “Today I will engage my muse” is absolutely one of the most important keys to getting unstuck as a human being.
Key 2: Getting to “today’s muse for me”
You need to make sure your one shift toward your muse is “optimized” for your life circumstances.
When you want to make a creative change, you not only have to tune into what would feel good, but you also have to take account of what’s doable.
Now, believe me, I know there aren’t a lot of folks who can take a different camping trip each weekend, or produce a new painting each evening!
So, if you’re into something that takes a lot of time, effort, energy, money or other resources, or if you don’t know what it is that would help you feel unstuck, you will have to start simply and then build on small wins.
The upshot is — for most busy people, you may only be able to carve out a half hour each day, or have 30 minutes’ worth of energy daily to put toward what you love. You may spend your first half hour just researching ways to do whatever it is you would love “on the cheap,” or gathering materials for what you want to do – even by re-purposing items you already have, or trading in things you no longer use for ones you will enjoy more often. You may spend your first 30 minutes brainstorming activities you would like to try, or making a collage of ones you have previously found fulfilling.
For instance, if you’re interested in sailing you might choose your one stimulation on Monday to be reading up on the topic. On Tuesday, it may be to enjoy a video about “love for the open sea,” while saving the idea of checking out sailing schools for Saturday or Sunday—when that kind of activity could better fit your schedule.
Here’s an easy scheme to follow. You choose your one activity based on what it offers you in fulfillment versus what it costs you in energy and resources (remembering that some pursuits may even boost your energy/income!):
Activity + fulfillment v.
Energy + resources v.
Added benefits of pursuit
= Which activity gets today’s focus
And so on, for each day or the week/weekend.
And then, you’ll mix and match interests and pursuits based on how well they fit into your routines, and how important they are to your overall creativity as a person, as well as to your well-being as an individual.
I did this when I got unstuck:
- I got outside first thing in the morning by doing some composting (also a metaphor for re-purposing old ideas and for reconnecting with the source of all my creativity—Mother Nature!)
- I found a yoga group to attend twice weekly (also a metaphor for letting my creativity flow, and for staying flexible and strong simultaneously)
- I ensured that I made time for my tai chi chih practice most days of the week, no matter at what daytime hour (also a metaphor for finding balance in my lifestyle, and for coordinating left- and right-brained activities and functions)
What’s the result?
Today as I am writing this article, I have done my composting, made sure to get outside in the AM also for my weekly yoga practice at the park with a group of ladies, and feel ready to ensure that I get to my tai chi chih after finishing this assignment and looking into taking on another private-pay or group practice client/patient. And I still have been doing all my other daily routines on most days—using a flexible schedule to allow me to fit them in around the demands of caring for my home and plantation, such as cooking and tending to the fruits/veggies.
It really does work to focus on doing one thing for me (outdoor mindful movement) rather than listing and ticking off all the daily chores!
Key 3: Increase opportunities to succeed in your home-life/ career
Set yourself up for success throughout your day. Include personal diet and exercise options to choose from during your regular work schedule so that your mind and body feel good, based on your individual needs. I find the free, downloadable app called the “daily dozen” to be a great help on this score. (See nutritionfacts.org)
If you have little time, fit in your special pleasure in smaller increments that you enjoy more often.
And, your daily professional/household activities can be done with more gusto just knowing that you either started off your day with something extra special that you love, or that you have it to look forward to by the day’s end. For example, I like to do my AM exercise routine to music, and to switch it up often. I also like to look forward to a game or movie in the evening.
Now that’s injecting energy into your day, so that your fulfilling activity flows you into the more routine project management tasks of your schedule, too!
Also consider using mindless or mundane activities as time to either mentally practice the thing you love, or to practice doing your regular chore more mindfully and creatively.
And of course, have a backup plan for when life gets away from you, as mine did when my mom became ill and needed my support, so that I had to travel and live away from home for a while to take care of her.
The bottom line is, as a free-willed person, it is up to you to determine the course of your life and whether you will choose to let yourself get into and stay in a rut, or whether you will choose to steer your way out, right your own ship, and be the master of navigating whatever seas you find yourself in today.
Use these three keys and you’ll soon turn your lifestyle and your home-life/professional-life from potentially boring to worth exploring!
Getting unstuck in her home career!
Build Your New Lifestyle in Seven Sessions
No matter what kind of rut you’re in currently, if you’re a free thinker – which you are or you wouldn’t have been reading this article – you can make a plan that digs you out of your hole and puts you up on top of your personal and career goals. You can launch your own new lifestyle in just 7 accountability sessions. I will walk you through all the details of every step in my private, online, psycho-education sessions, which you can access by writing to [email protected]
