40 Expert Toddler Sleep Training Tips

Our child was the worst sleeper ever.  Even now at age 3, he still has trouble sleeping, to some degree.  It takes him on average 30-60 minutes to fall asleep while we are laying with him.  We tried it all.  I must have read every baby and toddler sleep training book, and tried every strategy from cry-it-out to gentle solutions.  I was probably in five different online baby sleep forums asking for questions about how to get him to sleep.  He had colic, milk allergies and who knows what else.

In scouring the internet for some miracle solution, I did find lots of unique strategies that just might help you.  Try some of these and let us know how they work!

• Read "The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep" by Carl-Johan Forssén Ehrlin to your child in bed.  Supposedly kids fall asleep very quickly while listening to the soothing, somewhat repetitive words of the book.  Other people swear by "The Calm App" or online "kids sleep stories".
• Make a playlist of soft, relaxing music about an hour long. Play it each night as your child is falling asleep.  Supposedly, after a while, your child will fall asleep by the 2nd or 3rd track as their brain has made an association between the music and sleep.  We are thinking of trying this next but also adding some music that's supposedly good for making kids smarter as well, haha!  Try the Journey Rockabye Baby Sleep album.
• Tell your child there is a "sleep fairy" who comes each night ten minutes after bedtime to make sure they are asleep, and leaves a treat under their pillow if they are asleep when they come.  This could be a small treat like a sticker or individually wrapped candy.
• Establish a very exact bedtime routine.  Brush teeth, bathroom, read two books (three if they are in bed by a certain time), then lights OUT.  Go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning.
• Follow the same routine and bed times all 7 days of the week.
• If your child still sleeps with you, move the cuddling to their bed and leave the room after they have fallen asleep.
• Establish a nap routine as well.  Pick a show that you feel is quiet and low-key.  Plan to put it on every day, say at 1pm- you and your child both know lunch has to be eaten by then- no procrastinating!  After the show its nap time for an hour.  Play around with nap end times to see how it effects later bedtime sleepiness.  As your child gets older they may only need an hour or two of afternoon nap, otherwise it starts messing up bedtime or your child starts waking up super early in the mornings.
• That "one last thing"- do your best to avoid your child coming out for another drink of water or one last trip to the potty by incorporating these into your bedtime routine.
• Room darkening shades to keep the light out in the morning.
• An alarm clock that changes to color green when its okay for your child to get out of bed in the morning.
• It may seem counter-intuitive but your child will sleep longer in the mornings if they go to sleep earlier the night before.
• Try napping again- your child may be too tired by bedtime to fall asleep easily.

• Try doing away with naps.  Some children naturally need a bit less sleep than others.  Try no nap for a day or two, just quiet time, and see if bedtime sleep goes smoother.
• Make sure your child is getting plenty of fresh air and exercise in the mornings.
• Turn off all electronics an hour before bedtime.
• Make sure your child is getting enough sleep- over-tiredness leads to more night wakings.
• Read the same book before every nap time.
• Some moms swear by the essential oil "Serenity".  Rub a little on your child's socks before they go to bed.
• Give your child the space to "talk" to their favorite animal about what they did today or how to go to sleep.  This usually starts to happen naturally around 2 or 3.
• Tell them you will be right back and complete a small task around the house.  You never know, they may surprise you and be asleep when you get back!
• Put on a short, calming video for him every night while you lay next to him.  Nothing too stimulating.  Think lullaby videos, etc.
• Some children are a little hungry again by bedtime.  Try a light snack such as a few ounces of turkey and cheese, or half a banana with a little milk.  These are great choices because they contain tryptophan, which promotes sleepiness. Don't forget to brush after!
• A little foot or tummy rub with kid's lavender massage lotion can work wonders.
• Give your child a "bedtime pass" to use for one thing she needs during the night.  This can be using the bathroom, a drink of water, a cuddle from mom or dad, etc.  The security of knowing the pass is there might be all she needs to rest easy.
• If your child seems to get a second wind while laying in bed, put them down even earlier next time.  They could be overtired by the time they hit the sheets or need a longer decompression time.
• Try a bedtime candle.  Light a relaxing scent while your child is getting ready for bed and going thru their bedtime routine.  Have them help you blow the candle out, but before doing that, ask your child if he wants to tell you one last thing.  Maybe he has one more story from his day to share, or wants one more good night kiss.
• Do away with the words "nap" time and "bed" time for a while.  Use other words in place, such as rest time, relaxing time or sleepy time.  Sometimes, the very words become an instant battle ground.
• If your child is drinking a lot of milk or juice throughout the day, try to cut back.  Serve your child mostly water, if they are used to juice just a splash for the taste.  The sugar in a lot of drinks can make it hard for them to wind down and fall asleep later on.
• Most children need between 12-14 hours of sleep, altogether between naps and overnight.  Experiment with cutting back naps, eliminating them all together or letting your child sleep a little longer at nap time to see what works.

• Don't bother with a bed time.  (This goes against pretty much all the other advice out there, but it has worked for some, so I am throwing it in here because you may decide this is what works for you, or want to experiment with it, etc.)  Establish a time when your child has to go to his room and play in the dark.  Needless to say, make sure their room is completely childproofed and a video monitor wouldn't hurt either so you can keep tabs on them.  Let them figure out how to go to sleep on their own when they are ready.  Initially, your child may stay up late playing because of the novelty, but after several days or a week they may just realize when they are tired and make their way to bed quickly.  This falls in line with adage "when they move out of their crib, the bedroom becomes the crib".
• Try telling your child they can read themselves to sleep or let them listen to an audiobook while they fall asleep.  This may not necessarily get them to sleep earlier but on the plus side, this strategy has been known to establish a lifelong love of reading.  This is also good to get your kids out of the habit of needing you laying with them to fall asleep.
• When re-establishing new sleep times, its much easier to wake up a child earlier a few days in a row so they are more tired for an earlier bedtime.  It can be pretty hard to get a child to suddenly go to sleep earlier in the night when they aren't tired yet by that time.
• Draw up a chart on which your child can earn stickers for "staying in bed all night".

• Turn off the night light.  They can't play with what they can't see.  Helps reinforce the idea that its definitely bed time.
• Try a sleep-sack made for older ages if your child has recently learned how to climb out of the crib.
• Trying to stop co-sleeping now that your child is older and kicking you all night?  Try starting out with a cot or sleeping bag on the floor next to your bed then go from there.
• Try the "Super Nanny" method- Put them back to bed every time he gets up. The first time you may give them a hug or kiss while you tuck them in and say something like "It's bedtime, I love you." The second time you only tuck them in (no hugs/kisses) and only say "Bedtime" (no endearments). The third time and each time after, you put them back in bed, no words spoken, no hugs/kisses, just tuck them in and walk away. They're going to cry. They're going to throw a fit. It's going to be at least a few days of anger and crappy sleep.
• Hire a sleep consultant to help figure out where things are going wrong.  Stay tuned for our upcoming sleep consultant directory to find one online or in your area.
• When your child is older, let them go to sleep with a few toys or books in or near their crib that they can reach.  As they wake up, hopefully they will play with their toys for a bit while you catch just a few more winks!
• After your child is settled and relaxed in bed, tell him or her you will be right back, you have to check on something.  See if you can give it a few minutes.  Do this sometimes and your child will be on the way to falling asleep by themselves without needing you there.
• Go out and pick up the following books: Dark Night By Dorothee De Monfreid, Llama Llama Red Pajama By Anna Dewdney, and The Dream Jar by Lindan Lee Johnson. Start reading these to your child before bed. Read them all the time to practice going to bed.
• Make a night time bag with comforting things and a few quiet books. No electronics or things that make noise. Add some family pictures and something that glows. The children can use their bag at night if they wake up.

Do whatever works for you and your family.  Don't necessarily listen to what a book or expert tells you.  The goal here is sleep.

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